Harlequin
by LadyLevi
Summary: TV killed the radio star. Reality killed the Video star. And reality, unfortunately, is still chugging along. The five values the Potter/Weasley families live by, and the way one girl tries to find her own way. Lily Luna Potter. That's the second one.


Harlequin

TV killed the radio star. Reality killed the Video star. And reality, unfortunately, is still chugging along. The five values the Potter/Weasley families live by, and the way one girl tries to find her _own_ way.

Warnings- Swearing and slight insanity, seriously she's not stable

Disclaimer- Good god no, you think I'd kill off Sirius?

Why- 2nd part of 5, technically first but whatever.

--

5- Honesty

"But, I didn't kill it! I just wanna keep it da-da."

Snail shells, a whole bucket full.

"Pwease?" she can say it properly this is so much cuter. "I wanna make them pretty."

At this point in her life she still likes sparkles and playing princess and all the colour pink makes her want to do is smile, not stab things. Right now, she's happier not knowing what happened to her family before she was born and not worrying about what will happen later.

"No sweetie" Da-da smiles toothily at the camera's, "We gotta make sure the nice camera's don't see you doing anything gross or I'll never hear the end of it." He sighs and tugs one small hand, she drops the shells and wails as he pulls her away.

He spins her on her toes just like a princess and she squeals, delighted to be made the centre of attention. She looks up, hoping for that soft grin she sees all the time on her father's face at home and finds the empty one she's seeing far too often recently.

Her own, wobble tooth grin fades and she rocks on her heels. He's looking at the camera, talking to a man from work. Experimentally she tugs her hand, "Daddy, Daddy I gotta make them pretty." He doesn't look.

"Da-da?"

Some blonde thing asks her daddy a question swinging her boobies around and laughing real high so everyone knows he's talking to her.

She feels the edge of a tear in her eye and responds by stomping on her Daddy's foot. She makes a run for the snails. In the split second it takes for him to say 'ow' an invisible tug pulls on her body and she floats away from the snails.

"I told you, don't do anything that'll make you less pretty." He says, a slow burn in his eyes so close to the one she sees in old pictures.

"I wanna make it pretty"

The blonde laughs, "Gonna be a handful, eh?"

Lily snorts, "You're ugly. Daddy's married."

Daddy looks at her, really angry, "I'm sorry ,she must be tired."

The blonde smiles, "Of course, not every day Daddy treats you like a princess."

_No, it's not_

He loads her into a car, not wanting to risk floo and taps his fingers till they pass three streets, "Do you understand what you did wrong back there?"

She shakes her head

"I know I told you never to lie but," he sighs, "sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. Sometimes you have to lie or pretend things that aren't really true. Even if you thought that woman was ugly you shouldn't have said so. It's not right to judge a book by its cover and-"

"Areyougonnaleaveus?" Lily splutters out.

"What? Of course not, and even if I was in some kind of personal relationship with that woman it isn't your place to ask those sorts of questions. Lily, even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave Ginny because I love her too much to do that to her" he laughs, "And besides, imagine what the tabloids would say."

He drops a kiss on her head.

"Do you understand Lily?"

She nods her head, hugs her picture perfect teddy -wishes for snails instead- and tries hard not to cry.

--

10-Pride

"Don't let that boy beat you Rose, he's got too much pride."

_But what about you?_

Lily stands in the corner, dressed up in heels and lippie, wondering when it's her turn to congratulate her cousin. Her once pink teddy is mottled purple and green from a dye bomb accident three weeks ago.

"I know that lot; always fishing for first place. But we ain't gonna let him are we Rosie. Gonna smash him."

Aunt Hermione wanders over and pulls Uncle Ron away. "Sorry darling, do the best you can." And pecks her daughter on the cheek.

Lily plasters on a big, fake smile and walks with arms out stretched.

"Rosie! Congrats, what house are you gonna be in?"

Rose snorts, gives a quick hug and pushes her away before anyone notices "Gryffindor of course, what other options are there?"

Lily falters, "Well there's Hufflepu-"

Rose waves a hand, "Pfft, no way, I'm much better than that. Though I suppose Ravenclaw would be tolerable. Just." Rose takes another sip of fake wine looking way too old and arrogant for her age.

Lily's eyebrows draw together, "What about Sly-"

"Shhhh," Rose hisses, "don't even say that! Look kid, you've got another year here, you know, not in school so I can't expect you to understand what we adults do. No one in this family has ever been in Slytherin. No one ever will be. Just saying that, is like, betraying the family. We are and have always been better than them. We don't hurt people with our pride."

_But, _she thinks as Rose flows into the throng of their family, _you're hurting me_

--

15- Loyalty

"What does loyalty even mean anymore?" _and why aren't you _it. _Why aren't you perfect? Why aren't you _loyal?

God, what a good question. It almost makes her regret punching her brother in the face. She does pause for a second, weighs the truth against the pretty coloured lie. Licks her lips and flicks her stupid-long hair.

"It means doing whatever the fuck I want regardless of how fucked up it is."

Her hand shakes in his face and she wrenches back with a sickening shwupk as his face falls to pieces. She knows her family sees her as a traitor but she can't help but be loyal to something she believes in.

Even if that something means losing what she has.

--

20- Accomplishment

She's meant to be proud her cousins whoring herself out to save a corrupt ministry? That's an accomplishment?

"Rose, you stupid piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing?"

Rose looks up from her papers and alcohol-not fake, almost as real as the ring on her finger- and sighs, "Good evening Lily, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Lily snarls and stalks in on too high heels, cocks one hip to the side and flicks one short-short lock, "Your own frickin' stupidity"

"Am I stupid for wanting a better community, for wanting to accompli-"

"Shut up, just, shut up, you don't get to say that."

"What? That up till now all I've been doing is taking up space? That all I'll ever do is take up space?" Sigh, "I'm not like you Lils, I need someone to notice me, I need someone to say 'Hey, that's Rose, did you hear what she did?' I'm not like you, I need someone to see me."

"You know, when you talk, you speak like you're an oldman, not like, the twenty year old you are. Makes a huge _sssssssshhhhhhhhh _in my head."

"Aren't I?"

"What?"

"Speaking like an oldman, you know, giving a report?"

"Not quite, I want a justification."

"I thought the motto was 'Do first, fuck asking.'"

"Maybe, but I'm not you and I'm not about to marry some power-hungry American who just wants my assets. And I meant the double entendre."

"You can't know that."

"I can."

"How?"

"Like this." Shwoop, ca-thump. "Files, all of them detailing intimate knowledge of both you and the ministry –and when I say intimate..."

"You mean, illegal, embarrassing and down right stalker-ish."

"Yep, and that's just the start." Flick, flick, shwick, "pictures of his _real _wife, his son and his, uh, _mistress, _in Palm Beach soaking it up."

"Do they know?"

"They as in the people who spawned me or the people who sign my check?"

"Hmm, both."

"I haven't spoken to the 'clan' _in_ years and the higher ups have _known_ for years."

"Then why did they arrange it?"

"Because, what else does a power hungry maniac need other than a social climbing not-wife and a family that's so politically up themselves they can change the power flow by farting in the right direction."

Pause

"Why are you telling me this?"

Clip, clip, clip "Because you're family."

"You hate family."

Creak

"I know but you're still it. I still love _you _even if I don't love them. And what you want most is acknowledgement." Laugh, "I'm a pretty sort of failure if I can't even give you that."

"You know, I always thought you'd be the one to break the mould. Guess that's some accomplishment, eh?"

"Fuck off."

Slam

Rose rearranges her papers, sips her alcohol and pulls off the dented ring on her finger.

Accomplishment? Hardly

--

25- Community

"You're blocking the sunlight fat-ass"

She's lying on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean, drinking something sweet and thick, working on a tan line and slowly loosening her hips.

Or at least she was until this douche showed up.

A floppy hat, Hawaiian shirt, white shorts. Pretty eyes, tall, not fat at all. Great ass, really.

"Still coarse I see."

He flips off his hat. His eyes are a ridiculously beautiful shade of grey blue and his teeth are almost as white as his hair. He winks once slow and grins.

She sits up a little and the wet white t-shirt she's tied around her stomach catches on her piercings. Propped up so her bikini strap falls off one shoulder and sitting so his eye line directly sinks to her hips, she tilts her head up.

"I don't know you." _Anymore, _she thinks, _I don't know anyone anymore_

His grin softens to a smirk and he looks lazily from her head to her toes.

"Shame, you always looked lovely riding that broomstick."

Her eyes widen and she blushes, more angry than embarrassed –_she doesn't remember, what does she have to embarrassed about-_ She looks in his eyes and finds something she's seen before. Something that makes her smile.

"Hmm, did I really?"

Lust

"Yes, Malfoy, at your service." He gallantly places his lips on her hand and kneels down to place her hand inside his shirt, over the rib cage. She cocks her head and smiles. This man looks fun, dangerous enough to be exciting, gorgeous enough to send thrills to the bottom of her spine and well, a Malfoy, if this didn't get her disowned what would?

Besides, he looks fun

"Malfoy? As in, followed my cousin like a love sick puppy until-?"

"Yes, until she kissed-" _It was under the mistletoe, right? The last thing she did for herself._

She stands abruptly, making it look like she's sick of his company. (_Is she? She might be_) He looks up at her from long lashes and for a moment she could swear she saw fear.

Aw, does sugar have issues?

Join the club

But he's pretty, looks like fun too, so she won't leave without him just yet.

"Huh, I thought you'd be cuter."

She eyes him again, eyes looking anew.

"Huh, I thought you'd be hotter."

He talks to her face, not her boobs even though they're wet and screaming 'Look at me! Look at me!' It's...nice to meet a man not looking down her top from the get go. Maybe she shouldn't-

Wait, he's fun remember? –_Yes, do keep up_- Fun at the beach, that's all.

"How about I show you how hot I can get."

She leans against him, careful to stay just far enough away to be able to get out quickly in a confrontation and just close enough that should one occur she can blast him first or use him as a shield. She traces one pointy fingernail lightly around his crotch, making soft indentations at sensitive points.

"Show, hmm? What exactly am I looking at?"

He holds her chin up with one soft hand and she focuses on a point beyond his left ear.

_Kill time_

She pushes one hip against his and rolls her fingers to his side, effectively slipping a leg between his and using the hand on his side as a steadying point. The poor boys eyes widen and shutter a little.

"Depends how far you're willing to go." She say's by needling her fingers in his side "All the way?"

He smirks again slipping his other foot around so she's leaning on him, not him on her. She responds by lifting herself up, bracing her other hand under his thigh and leaning her weight forwards so he has to hold her so they don't both fall.

_Sweet baby Jesus, how do drunks do this?_

"_All _the way." He breathes the words into her hair.

"Every last centimetre." She makes her breathing shallower, her body more eager and one hand slips between them dipping just below his pant line.

"You're going to lose this game little girl." He mumbles into her shoulder, automatically pulling her up to his hips. Lily smiles, shakes her hair over one shoulder, looks into his face.

"Bungalow 17, it has blue parrots out the front. And no, I won't."

She slides down his leg, picks up her towel and begins to walk away.

"What about the esky?"

"Guess you'll have to return it, won't you?"

Malfoy shakes his head and disappears.

---

"Dammit this was stupid. Damn flimsy skirt."

She sits on an electric blue couch and waits for her little bit of fun to arrive. Her bungalow is eclectic, bright and not for the colour-impaired. Great splashes of green and yellow and blue and silver and any other colour she could think of decorate the walls and every appliance she owns looks like it came from a souvenir store. Quite frankly, most did. One side of the bungalow is a window centring a half stained picture of the Madonna.

She's about as religious as a gnat but this picture has always meant something to her.

Doorbell

"You look quite delectable."

Malfoy stands amongst her birds of paradise in dress pants and a stupid pretty business shirt with rolled up sleeves.

_Dammit, what the hell were you thinking?_

"I bet you tell all the girls that."

He produces flowers from _somewhere _('Magic, you moron, we're wizards remember?') and hands them to her.

"Then you'd be right."

She sniffs the flowers

"So overconfident." She states and lets him in

He smiles, dimples showing

Great, he has _dimples_

"So your type." He says as he steps over the threshold. He makes himself comfortable on her couch. Spreading his legs and slouching in that way so many men do.

"Ah, but we're here for dinner."

She cocks her hips and points a finger. Playing the housewife to his working husband. She's left the door open purposely to give him a chance to back out. To _get _out.

"Dinner?" he drawls, and looks coolly from her to the door and back again. His eyes stay on her blue sixties style dress, and the flowers in her hair. She can feel her own unease growing.

'_He doesn't deserve this.'_

Because apart from being a cocky sonofabitch she could bet he hadn't done anything wrong besides be cute and fun.

"What did you think I meant?" She smiles shyly; of course he knew what she'd meant. But...he'd brought flowers, and he was sitting on her couch. She couldn't just...you know, fuck him. He brought her _flowers._

"Tease." He says and rests one hand on his chin, "What's for dinner?"

"Cock-jock." She replies, not missing a beat and waves a hand in the direction of the door, it closes and it's mostly a sign to her to be more community minded, "Lasagne. No béchamel I hate it."

"What else?" He stands up and walks a little further into the bungalow, "Also, how can you not like béchamel, it's creamy."

"I've never liked cream." She stands with her back to the door he just walked through and stares out the window.

Two arms wind their way around her stomach, and she jumps. Malfoy laughs, "Don't like cream, eh? Maybe you should try my special brand."

And she can't help it, she laughs.

"You're own _special_ brand? Why don't you just _say _suck me off."

He sighs, and she stops laughing, she turns around in his arms and places her hands on top of his shoulders, "Oi, Malfoy, you can leave, I mean this isn't, it's not, god...you can go anytime you want and I won't-"

"You know, I am _still _astonished it's taken you this long to get here and we haven't even kissed yet, I mean, it may sound girly but I am showing amazing self restraint here, not jumping you and all and I damn well think I deserve my kiss, Potter-"

Lily snorts and kisses him.

"Oh, good, let's move on then."

Tomorrow, she'll ask why he remembers her last name.

--

"Wow, you really _haven't_ done this in a while have you?"

"Ah, no, memory loss isn't exactly conductive to having sex with people from school." Pause "I can't- we should-"

"Rendered you speechless, love?"

"_Shut up. _You aren't that great either."

"I take offence to that."

"You woul-_oh god_"

"Can't bitch now can you?"

--

"The Ministry wants you to do a job for them."

It's early, as in no-coffee early, every part of her aches and she's sure fluids are in the wrong places.

"The minist-? You suck at pillow talk." She grumbles and tries to hit him with a stray pillow.

"I'm a pillar of the community; I don't need pillow talk."

He grabs the pillow and tucks it and her under his arm. She settles into his armpit and sighs, "Not even they got rid of the pride."

"I'm proud of my pride"

"You would be."

He twines some hair around his finger "So, the ministry-"

"Did you sleep with me because of the job?"

He pauses, "Yes."

She swallows once, to show she understands and wriggles out of his arms "Okay then." She puts on her game face, the one designed to ward off enemies and intimidate clients.

_Some fun _this _is..._

He looks above her head, "The first time at least, the second, third, fourth and uh, seventh times were because I could." He hasn't noticed the change in her demeanour or if he has he just doesn't care. She's not sure which she wants.

"Oh, what about the sixth?" she rolls to face away from him.

"That noise you make when you're trying to hold it in is so very sexy."

She snorts, and sits up, he does the same on the other side "Well, you aren't the first to tell me that."

"Ah, another pillar of the community."

She stands and walks out of the room, words and thoughts bouncing around her head

'_I was damn stupid to think this'd work.'_

"Stop that. What about the job?"

"What job?"

"The one you slept with me for."

"Ah, that job."

"Yes, that job." She grinds her teeth together.

"Well," he starts "I need you to dig up some files on two very prominent families in the second great war." He chucks a file at her from the bedroom doorway. She looks once over and frowns.

"These are mine and yours."

He finds his pants and pulls one leg on "Yes, they are. I need them by next month."

She tries really hard to not look at him, concentrates on the files "What division?"

"Excuse me?" he has a mouth full of shirt. _Or shit, indistinguishable, really. _

"What. Division." She can feel something like tears hitting the edges of her eyes and she swallows twice very quickly to stop them.

"EXCU55589043" he comes closer, smelling like sex and her favourite shampoo

'_How long has he been up?'_

"That's a serial number."

He looks at her, naked in front of the Madonna and looks away again, "It's what you want to know."

"I-" she starts, then waves her hands and stops, "Fine play it your way, whatever, I need payment." She holds out a hand and crosses the other below her breasts.

"On arrival."

She sighs, and picks up a kimono from a pile of clean washing, sliding her arms in and binding it closed.

"Not good enough."

"Too bad."

He leans down and kisses her shoulder and her neck. She turns her head and moves away.

"You can't pay me in kisses."

"I can pay you in sex."

He says it like he's joking, but in this game of vices and devices payment is never a joke.

"I'm not a whore." She breathes very slowly, once in, once out and once just plain out of control.

"I know that." She's standing in front of the Madonna again when he reaches for her.

'_Don't do this to me.'_

"And you think I'm going to do this as like, a _community service."_

'_Not you too' _

"No, as a part of the community."

She stares at him and he hugs her.

"I'm not part of _any _community. I never have been."

"Well, you can start now, can't you?"

--

30- Belonging

"This is shit and you know it"

"Hello brother, how are you? I'm well, works been okay apart from the prick by the water cooler making up shit about me. Whoops, I forgot, I'm a spy! We don't have water coolers! Why don't we have water coolers?"

James looks at her, written all over in irritation, "Does the end of the world even bother you?"

"No, not really," Lily replies, "As far as I'm concerned, someone will always need an assassin, spy or detective, I'm covered."

"Even memory impaired ones?"

"Even better," she flips a page of her book, "Then they don't have to worry about interrogation."

Her eyes flick to him once. This is probably the unhealthiest she's ever seen him. Pale, distraught, angry and terrified of what he thinks is happening. She could put him out of his misery-

"This is all your fault you know."

-Or not.

Layla had sucky taste in men.

"How the fuck did she fall for you? Also, the end of the world, yeah, that's on _you_ buddy. _I_ never tried to bring back the de-"

His jaw clamps shut and those three veins on his neck stick up, "Do you always kick someone in the face when they're down?"

She shuts the book and wriggles around to look at him, "Only when they sell out my best friend."

Quick, so quick she's not sure it happened, a flash of blue sparks toward her. Almost as quickly she's called a protective net and bound all the escapes closed. James casts an assessing glance to the doors and back at her. He snorts.

"Do you enjoy watching your family suffer?"

And that's it. The mother-fucker has to die

She's not sure if its his tone, or the inflection or the fact that this _shithole _is the only thing left in the _entire fucking world _and why does he think she'd ruin it by-

This is all she has. This is all she belongs to.

And the only thing missing –besides her parents, but they're still as tightass as always- is Layla. The one person in the world he was hers. Who belonged to her. And then James, pretty little Jamie boy comes along and tries to woo her. It was okay, for a while, they'd both laughed it off, but slowly, _surely, _Layla had started looking forward to his cheesy messages and smelly flowers and ridiculous pictures. She'd said it was cute.

"A little try hard though." Lily whispers, flicks a hand, and sends little vibrations across the floor, knocking down vases and pottery.

James, wand out hand back, offensive net ready, blinks at her and growls, "What the fuck, Lily."

"I, she'd said, about you, that one time. She'd thought it was a little try hard, the way you always looked out for her." She swallows, hard "she figured it was...gratuitous."

Her brother, precious brother, perfect brother, lowers his wand and his ego. "You are _exactly _the same."

"Me and her or me now and me not now."

"Both." He waves a hand toward the couch and magic's up a bottle of wine. "1786, French red, taste like strawberries."

"I don't want your backwash."

"Oh, _blow me."_

Her nose wrinkles and she sits down on a plush chair. "Eww, I don't-"

"Oh, for fucks sake. I'm grieving, Lils, grief, and I know I took away someone you thought belonged to you and I'm sorry, so freakin' sorry but not as much- not as much as if I'd never met her. _Never that much._" He sighs and runs his hand through ink hair, stops and repeats the move, "I tried, really tried hard to give her up Lils, she was just as important to you as she was to me."

Lily stares at the bottle in her hands, her brother and everything one stubborn woman has meant to them.

"She loved you. A lot. Like, break your heart apart a lot."

"Thank you."

"More than she did me even."

"Thanks"

"More than her guns."

"Lily you don't nee-"

"I do," She squeaks, "I owe you a lot. For her at least. She talked about you all the time. And it always felt like you were taking her away from me. Like everyone was. Like you always have been."

"Lils, It's enough." He touches her shoulder and she chugs down the wine.

"Yeah, it almost is. She belonged to both of us."

--

35- Love

It had never occurred to her that people needed love.

Beer, sure. Cigarettes, definitely. Sex, gimme some a that.

Love? You can go fuck yourself.

"They told me you'd be here." Black dress, red gloves, bright blue eyes. She's more then dressed to kill.

"They as in-"

"Come off it Lils, we both know I don't take that shit." He sits on the stool next to her and flings a look at Steve, his barman.

"Then why are you here?" She fingers the martini gently. Eventually she gets sick of it and asks for a sex on the beach instead.

"Because, the woman I wanna bang is." Perfectly serious, perfectly even, is he mad about something?

"Aw shucks, thanks."_ Nah, couldn't be_

She's half way through a sip when- "I didn't mean you"

She chokes a little and looks over at the busty blonde thing with the plastic hips. "Oh, um, okay than, I'll let you get back to..."

"Because really, why would I want to bang the same piece of tail for the rest of my life. God not like I wanted to do something _productive_, like get _married_. I mean marriage is for losers." His voice is emphatic and the vodka in his hand practically crackles with magic.

"Okay, I'll go then and-" Warily, she looks at the glass. How much pressure can one piece of glass stand?

"And you know what's worse, that piece of tail I'm banging has the sheer _gall_ to turn up in one of my fine establishment looking like _sex on legs_ and hasn't even _bothered_ to _kiss me_ yet. Audacity I tell you, _sheer audacity_."

And damn, does she feel the confusion, "Okay, now I'm lost."

"Good love, feel free to come closer and get a little more lost." And there's the grin.

"No, I'm just way too confused right now."

They slip into silence, she downs another in the same time it takes him to do three.

"Love?" his voice is breathy, tired and all to vulnerable.

'_Not again' _

"Yes?"

"Yes or no question."

'_It's always no'_

"Huh, what?"

"Marry me?"

"Nope."

And like always, he takes it as his cue to leave.

"Where are you going?" she sighs.

"Hopefully to an alternate reality where the girl of my dreams loves me."

"You think I don't love you?" she thinks, for a moment, that he's the stupidest boy she's ever met, then again, maybes he's just human.

"Yes, obviously. Why else am I stalking out of my own damn bar?"

"Sweetie, sit your ass down."

She crosses her legs, drawing attention to her thighs, "No, I will not marry you. Perhaps if you ask again in 30 years I might accept an engagement."

"We could be-"

"We won't be. Have a little faith in my awesomeness."

"Why not" he orders another shot, bright blue and leaving neon spills when it spins toward him.

"You'll feel that tequila in the morning when I drop your head in the toilet."

"I was under the impression you wouldn't be coming home with me tonight."

"Why wouldn't I go home?" she watches his body for some sign of change and lo and behold his right ear twitches, showing some sigh on hearing her.

"Anyway, no, I will not marry you." She feels him flinch and shudder, lights a smoke and continues anyway "Why? Because marriage is a piece of paper, nothing more. The biggest, purest love I've ever seen belongs to my cousin, and she _can't _get married. Her parents hate each other so much they just flipped over and started loving each other. My brothers in love with my best friend and they're...acidic at best. My parents pretty much submitted themselves to a lifetime of familiarity and acceptance and complete _boredom _and Al just wants her to wake up and stop chasing Jay. So forgive me if marriage and eternal love don't exactly send thrills through me."

She looks him in the eye, "You've given me a lot you know. Way more than you can ever know but by not accepting I'm giving you an option." Stubbing out the cigarette on her hand she whispers smoke into his face.

"Right, which is?" he struggles for a second with hope and finally beats it down.

"I'm letting you get out."

He blinks, once, twice, four times, opens his mouth and starts, "You think I want out? You think I want out of the first meaningful relationship I've had since my parents were murdered?"

"You got closure on that."

"Thanks to you."

"Thanks to Layla."

Because everything comes back to Layla

"Yes, of course."

"So yes, I'm letting you leave. Seriously, tonight I just came to say-"

"Goodbye. Jesus Lily, you were really gonna walk out on me?"

"Yes."

"Good god," he actually looks appalled, "why do I love you."

Question of the decade, sweetie

"I was hoping you'd tell me."

"Well why do you love me?"

"Rhetorical, move along."

"Is not"

"Is too"

"Not"

"Too"

"Not"

"Too"

"Not"

She laughs, "You want a reason? Here it is. You've never laughed at me for being dumber than Rose, never mistrusted my loyalty, never belittled my accomplishments, tried to help me gain a sense of community and most of all you've never lied to me. About important things."

"White lies save your life." He drawls. God she's gonna miss that.

"Even more than that. You've never tried to be my family."

"God knows, I wouldn't know how." He hits another shot.

"And, for me, that's a good thing. I have enough family. I have enough people to love me and support me. They all had enough people to do the same for them. I needed someone who needed me, all of me. Not just the Gryffindor bits. There was always someone around me, watching me, keeping me pretty and safe. You trusted that I could do it myself and you never cared that I came out of a fight beat up. You never made me leave snails at the park."

"Um, what?" Aw, his confused face is cute.

"I've never needed to feel alone and because of that I always have." She reaches for a nahd and holds it near her heart.

"So thank you, for needing me."

She drops the hand and kisses him once on the lips softly because this is the end and she'd like a whimper.

"And trust me that when I say goodbye today, it's because I love you and want you to find someone you can love more than me," she sighs, stands up, shoves one arm through her coat, "but, if you somehow haven't managed to find her in 30 years. Come find me and we'll see what we can do about it."

She kisses his cheek, lips, eyes and leaves 30 on the bar. Looking at him one last time she spins and walks out of his bar. So he sits there and thinks and when 5 shots of tequila manage to wash through his system he realises what the fuck just happened.

"Wait? 30 years? I'll be fucking old by then!"

And, just maybe, he chases.

--

Augh, god, this took a while.


End file.
